In a recent
interview I was asked how I became a literary legend in
I was a 13-years-old
newspaper boy on my route one early morning when a freak snowstorm hit. A car
stopped and a small Asian man rolled down the window and asked me if I’d like a
ride. At least I think that is what he asked me that morning; I remember that he
spoke what sounded like a foreign language. He swung open the car door. It was
cold and snowing. I got in. He gave me a cup of hot chocolate to drink. Next
thing I woke up in San Francisco. Everything I had was on me that morning. I had
lost my small nest egg.
I was without any money
and living in a small room in the back of a Chinese restaurant. I was forced to
wash dishes. I didn’t understand a word of what was being said around me. I
washed dishes until I turned fifteen, saving my money. One day a customer,
driving a new BMW, arrived at the restaurant. She pulled me outside and pointed
at her car. She was Chinese and old enough to be my mother. I didn’t understand
a word she said. Chinese is a hard language to learn and a dishwasher doesn’t
get a lot of vocabulary thrown at him.
It didn’t matter about her
lack of English, I was used to not understanding anyone around me. But I was
getting good at reading expressions and body language. I got into her new, shiny
car. I liked her smile. She gave me a nice drink in a bottle, and when I woke
up, I was on a boat in the middle of the sea. I had again lost my small nest
Three weeks later, I
arrived by ship in Bangkok. I was handed over by an agent to a mamasan, and
worked for the next two years washing sheets and cleaning rooms in an upscale
brothel in the old part of the city. I saved every baht I could lay my hands on.
The mamasan’s sister in San Francisco threatened to kill me unless I paid her an
employment placement fee of three thousand dollars. I had until the end of the
week. I told a GI who was on RR and a customer at the brothel that I was being
held against my will. He helped me escape one night. Someone broke his nose in
the fight out of the place. He held off three bouncers with a knife. I lost all
of my savings. The GI said he could find me a job in Vietnam.
I got a job stacking
shelves in the American PX in Saigon. I lasted almost two years. I had saved
enough working at the PX to return home. Two days before I was to leave Saigon,
my apartment took a direct hit from a Viet Cong shell. I later found out it was
an agent of the mamasan and the woman from San Francisco who had paid the Viet
Cong to destroy my place. I was supposed to be inside. But I lost all of my
I walked into the Canadian
embassy and told them I wanted to go home but I had no money. The second
secretary got me a ticket on the black market and took me aside and told me that
unless I paid him back within six months he would fly to Vancouver and kill me
with his bare hands. He had big hands with large blue veins like a living
killing machine. I thought he might know the mamasan or her sister. I was
careful about places and dates.
Twenty-years old, I
arrived in Vancouver, promising myself never to take another free ride from a
stranger, when a car pulled up and an Asian man asked me if I like a lift. I get
in. Why? I thought he’d been sent by either by the embassy guy in Saigon, the
mamasan in Bangkok or that woman in San Francisco. One of them had sent a hitman
who’d finally caught up with me. I thought my life was over. Accept karma, I
told myself. At least I hadn’t saved anything. I had absolutely nothing to lose.
But I was wrong.
The driver spoke perfect
English. He’d been born in Canada and said he didn’t know anyone in Vietnam or
the Canadian Embassy. So I told him my story. He asked me if I let him make me
into a literary legend? I asked him if I got to keep the money I saved? He said,
you bet. I said I had no money to bet with. He said it was a figure of speech
and a writer had to learn to live with it just like Hugh Heffner had learned to
live with a bed full of blondes.
I said I could do that and
I also told him that he was the first person since I was 12 that I’d had a real
conversation with in English. He said Conrad (Joseph Conrad, not Conrad Black)
had a problem with English as a second language. I said I had a problem with
English as a first language. He said that he was Chinese Canadian and he fully
understood and offered to be my agent. He got me a contract to write a radio
play for the CBC and then a book deal in New York.
I stopped saving and spent
every dime as it came in. A couple of years later, my agent introduced me to his
father, an old Asian man. The father smiled, and I smiled. Even though the
father was quite old but I remembered him—the man who had stopped his car in a
snowstorm when I was thirteen and offered me a ride and a cup of hot chocolate.
He winked and asked me if I’d like something to drink.
article was originally posted in April 23rd, 2010.